Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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