Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
