carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
