I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
