what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
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