WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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