My first STD was from a foam party
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
