you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
