After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
