is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
my being single is dangerous.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
