Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
