your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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