you turned your livingroom into a bong?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
