Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
