i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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