Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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