she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
