so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
