I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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