she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
