dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
