On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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