I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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