Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
