hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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