im about as happy as oj after his trial
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
