im gay
i know
yea but for you.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
