HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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