We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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