Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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