Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
