I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize