We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
that's an acceptable place to lick
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
