She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
