You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
try to milk me bitch
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
