just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
