Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
