More tranny stories later!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
