New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
