Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So many bounce houses so little time
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
