Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
