Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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