Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize