Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
