So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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