Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
