Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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