Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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