I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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