HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
