Me. At least after what I've been through.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
