No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
