By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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