Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
