You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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