Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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