How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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