there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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