He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
