I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
