just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
