It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
