i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize