I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
