Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
