College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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