I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
be right there i have to get my cape
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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